Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
