K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
