Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
