So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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