I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the day after is always just damage control
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
