Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
