i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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