Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
