Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
