my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
