Don't you send me to vm
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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