Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
