I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
