Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
