So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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