i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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