my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
