We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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