She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
