I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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