great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
