Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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