apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
