I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
