theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my being single is dangerous.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
