then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
