i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
