His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
