I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
