apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
