So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
