I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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