it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
