Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
