honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So vagazzling was a success
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
