I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Will exercising make me less horny?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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