Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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