The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
