PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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