Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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