She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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