Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
