new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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