can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
