I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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