I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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