Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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