I must be too annoying 4 u.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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