you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
sarcasm needs its own font
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
