Dual....:-)
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
