Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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