then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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