I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
